There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
