Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
