Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he wants to bone in the snuggie
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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