I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
