yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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