so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
