i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
