We won't sleep together?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
