He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
