I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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