He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
