apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
