oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
