Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
