wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
