Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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