I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
