i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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