im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
