I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
