was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm sobbing to NWA
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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