Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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