You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Operation Purity has been aborted
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
