the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
