coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
