So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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