hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I lost the right to judge tonight
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
