I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I have feelings that need drinking.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
