That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
that may or may not have been my penis.
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