Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
