JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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