I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She even gives head with a lisp.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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