i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
