I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
