Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I need a burrito and a hug.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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