Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
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