Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
