and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
