Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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