i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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