I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
