There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
