Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
