Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
