I wanna bring you to show and tell
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
