The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Pooping to opera.
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