If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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