we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
bring money and cleavage
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't want my vagina anymore.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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