I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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