You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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